KTs Sports Book

Being an Absolute Monarch in the 21st century is a hard gig. Especially if you model yourself on those hard men who laid waste to Medieval Europe and who further enhanced their rotten reputations by invading the so-called Holy Land. Times were simpler then. One basically terrorised the peasantry, deflowered virgins on the village dungheap and pissed on the castles wall hangings during massive banquets of badly cooked meat. Little wonder Islamic emissaries to Europe routinely commented on the high incidence of body odor among this self-appointed feudal royalty.

Now, lest you think I’m indulging in hyperbole here, I strongly recommend that you dip into Norbert Elias’ two volume set The Civilising Process. Incidentally, FOARP now resides in Elias’ hometown Wroclaw, Poland (formerly East Prussia).

You can only soak your citizen peasantry so much tax-wise before they start thinking about an out, and reading up on republican democracy. In order to avoid this ghastly prospect, one has to adopt creative ways of generating new revenue streams in this age of fiscal austerity. And where better than in the private for-profit sector of the economy. As previously noted in Fine Cotton Races in Wuhan, even potential republicans in tubbyland follow The Sport of KingsThe Horsies – and thoroughly approve of organised gambling.

In consequence, we are opening a Sports Book (an awful Americanism) and launching K-TAB.

This is your opportunity to double that bank account you have put aside for your childrens education.

And where better than a flutter on the future prospects of Sino-lands First Family.

Bo Xilai: 20 years (with no parole or community service option) in Qincheng prison.
5 to 1 on. Not the most attractive odds, I admit.

Gu Kalai charged with “intentional homicide”, which in US TV dramas means MURDER ONE in big headlines: Two in the brain pan and a shallow grave in some obscure Anhui land fill.
10 to 1 on. Again, perfectly crap odds.

And I won’t even offer odds on her Baldrick accomplice flunky Zhang Xiaojun. It is a foregone conclusion that he is in for the Big High Jump into future fertiliser, such is fate of all underlings who attach themselves to the wrong guanzi networks.

Side bets on the odds that Gu had sex with Heywood before hand – thus weakening him by draining him of his precious bodily fluids – prior to forcing the contents of the poisoned chalice down his throat. This is a bit tasteless I know, but even Ladbrokes took bets on the appearance of aliens during the Olympic’ Opening Ceremony.

Please contact me via email for my odds on this one.

And two more giving you an opportunity to really clean up on a Quadrella.

Jiang Zemin will really die for real before the next full moon.
500 to 1.

The PRC’s National Male Soccer Team will take gold in London.
7,000 to 1.

So there you are. Be reckless, give up the day job and arrange your Carribean travel plans now.

In the interest of transparency re: China’s Soccer Team, I recommend this article on the signings of Anelka, Drogba et al by Shanghai Shenhua.

The money quote.

One popular online comment sums it all up: “Who could refuse the chance to earn astronomical payments for playing football with a group of amateurs?”

As noted, it is about money, power and politics and not the Beautiful Game. A fashion accessory for PRC’s corrupt mega wealthy.

Let’s now lighten up with some Social Notes.

Custer of ChinaGeeks is departing Beijing for perfectly valid health and family reasons and we wish them well.

While on the subject of the recent flooding of Beijing, you have to cast doubt on the continued rise and rise of the Middle Kingdom via an academic footnote by Karl Wittfogel:

Wittfogel is best known for his monumental work Oriental Despotism: A Comparative Study of Total Power, first published in 1957. Starting from a Marxist analysis of the ideas of Max Weber on China and India’s “hydraulic-bureaucratic official-state” and building on Marx’s sceptical view of the Asiatic Mode of Production, Wittfogel came up with an analysis of Oriental despotism which emphasized the role of irrigation works, the bureaucratic structures needed to maintain them and the impact that these had on society, coining the term “hydraulic empire” to describe the system. In his view, many societies, mainly in Asia, relied heavily on the building of large-scale irrigation works. To do this, the state had to organize forced labor from the population at large. This required a large and complex bureaucracy staffed by competent and literate officials. This structure was uniquely placed to also crush civil society and any other force capable of mobilizing against the state. Such a state would inevitably be despotic, powerful, stable and wealthy. (Wiki)

I don’t know which words to highlight, given the irony that China’s uber power city can’t even manage to build a decent underground drainage network. So much for the much touted Sino Engineering Mentality. And don’t even ask about my flood experiences in second tier cities after moderate precipitation.

Finally, we should note that Tom over at Seeing Red in China is returning to the US to extend his education. Now Tom – an erudite individual who guides us less-intelligent members of the chatterati through the socio-cultural byways which make up China today – has a college degree in anthropology. (Like any other degree, it simply indicates that one can spell one’s name correctly.)

Anyway, our weblord is planning a p/g in theology and development economics (a combination which speaks for itself), combined with US church visits where he will no doubt impress with his anecdotes about the paganistic, superstitious and materialist conditions which prevail in China today.

You have got to admire American christians and their centuries old ambition to convert the Han Hordes. I could provide references on this point, but won’t since that is your homework, Dear Reader.


5 Responses to “KTs Sports Book”

  1. justrecently Says:

    Foarp resides in what used to be Silesia. That place belonged to Prussia, too, because Frederic II. robbed it from the Austrians, but was part of Prussia. For East Prussia see this map.

    Both East Prussian and Silesian refugees had strange accents, but their children usually didn’t inherit them. You rarely hear the dialects these days, or not in Germany, anyway.

  2. kingtubby1 Says:

    Thanks JR. Most peoples accents are a bit strange: the ear of the listener. My accent is not going to win any elocution awards. Broad, lazy ‘strine which, when mixed with my Jamiacan ancestry/creole patios, is all but incomprehensible.

    That is one of the reasons why I gave up ESL in Asia. Instead of a 1 to 9 IELTS score, my students were going into negative numbers.

    Things became even worse when the IELTS examiner taking the 15 minute speaking test spoke Indian english. Little wonder none of my students were ever hired by the BBC..

  3. justrecently Says:

    Just to clarify, if my earlier comment seems to suggest otherwise – I actually miss the people who spoke the dialects, or rather, whose language kept some of the color. The way they are fading makes me aware of how the times are changing, and passing.

  4. foarp Says:

    @JR – A Polish-Silesian dialect continues to exist in Upper Silesia, but not so here in Lower Silesia (confusingly, up-stream of Upper Silesia on the Oder) which is peopled mainly by people from the are around the formerly Polish-majority city of Lvov (or L’viv, or however it is spelt nowadays). This Upper Silesian dialect is part German, part Polish, and part original Silesian, but I am not sure if it is the one you are referring to.

  5. justrecently Says:

    Most Silesians I’ve known had been farmers there, remained farmers here, and their language even differed from that in Silesian towns – that’s nothing unfamiliar to me, because the dialect I grew up with (northwestern Lower German) actually differs from one village to another, even if only slightly.

    I’m referring to “German dialects of Silesian” (which included both German and some Polish language), and I can’t really tell the difference between Upper-Silesian and Lower-Silesian, obviously. There were refugees from every end of Silesia, they talked Silesian to each other, and it didn’t seem to matter if it was “upper” or “lower”. When they spoke standard German, only their accents were different from ours.

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